One Sunday morning a few years ago, I was appalled to find myself the subject of a shock horror front page tabloid newspaper expose. Apparently I had taken drugs with the-then British prime minister.
The story itself didn’t come as much of a surprise: it did, after all, feature in the soon-to-be-published biography of David Cameron by my friend Isabel Oakeshott - a harmless enough anecdote about how, while we were Oxford undergraduates, Dave and I had occasionally smoked weed while listening to Supertramp’s Crime of the Century.
No, the bit that really bothered me - shocked me to the core, in fact - was that one of Britain’s biggest-selling Sunday newspapers considered such an utterly inconsequential piece of trivia to be the single most important story in the world that day.
Just think, for a moment, of all the scandals the newspaper could have splashed over its front page if it were really doing the public service job it pretends to do.
It could have named some of the numerous politicians, Cabinet members included, who are involved in paedophile sex rings.
It could have revealed that for many years our skies have been sprayed with toxic chemicals which poison our fields, livestock and water supplies.
It could have finally blown the whistle on 9/11, the fake moon landings, the dinosaur hoax, the climate change scam, the evolution lie or the fact that all wars in living memory - and probably all wars ever - were not ‘natural’ or organic events but part of the cynical disaster capitalism/blood sacrifice business model of the ruthless predatory elite which really runs the world.
Instead, though, the
Mail on Sunday had decided on behalf of its millions of readers that the story which should most occupy their thoughts over breakfast that day was the revelation that a 19-year old boy at university in the 1980s had smoked a jazz woodbine while listening to a classic album by a slightly uncool pomp rock ensemble.
What this episode should have taught me - though it didn’t properly because I was still fairly asleep at the time - is that ‘news’ is an entirely artificial construct. That is, ‘news’ is whatever the lying, propagandistic media has decided, in the interests of its dark overlords, it feels most needs to be shoved in our faces at any given time. Rarely, if ever, is it there to inform us. It is there to distract us, frighten us, and deceive us.
Whenever any story is given prominence in the media, your default response should be to count your fingers: you just know you are being sold a pup.
It’s in this context we should view the latest political drugs scandal to hit the headlines. Apparently - if you believe the lie - the French president Macron, the UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer and the German chancellor Friedrich Merz have been caught, almost red handed, about to share some cheeky lines of coke in a train carriage en route to Kiev in the Ukraine.
I knew the story wasn’t true as soon as it appeared in all the papers. In fact I knew it wasn’t true before that because it got far too much circulation on social media beforehand.
By ‘the story wasn’t true’, I’m certainly not suggesting that Macron, Starmer and Merz don’t do cocaine on a fairly regular basis. That would be absurd. It would be almost as ludicrous as suggesting that Volodymyr Zelenskyyyyyy, the penile-piano-playing, gakhead comedian that they were on their way to see, is not so heavily into the marching powder he makes Al Pacino in Scarface look like Mary Poppins.
Of course it’s more than likely that Macron, Starmer, Merz, Zelenskyyy and most of the other world leaders - though not Trump, because he’s a known straight edge, which is a form of perversion in itself - take coke because they are disgusting, degenerate, low-grade individuals who crave any altered state that might give them the rare opportunity of escaping the horror of being themselves.
But on this particular occasion they dur obviously weren’t taking coke or about to take coke because if they had been the story would have been suppressed by the media rather than bigged up by it.
So why has this story materialised at this particular time? We can only speculate but I suspect that it probably was designed to serve a number of functions simultaneously.
One, certainly, would be distraction. There’ll be a big story, several big stories affecting us all probably, which they’ll be trying to bury.
Another is the artificial generation of hinterland. These men are nothings, nobodies, the soiled wank rags of their Cabal controllers. In order to make us interested in them, the media has to concoct stories that make them look like real people with mild, forgivable-ish vices, rather than the soulless puppets they actually are.
Another is to sow disinformation. Some people, most people, will be genuinely shocked at the idea that world leaders might flagrantly be engaging in the kind of drugular activities that would land the rest of us a fine or a suspended prison sentence. These innocents will be reassured - now that the story has been officially revealed as a hoax by their trusted mainstream media sources - that of course our world leadersdon’t take cocaine. It’s a bit like the way They quelled rumours of high level paedophilia a few years back. They so arranged it that the paedophile victim who appeared in the highest profile court case was publicly exposed as a fantasist and a liar - thus giving the world the impression that all the other paedophile victims out there were liars and fantasists too.
Another is so They can blame the Russians (again) - and sow more seeds for this new World War They’re so keen to bring off.
Really, don’t you just hate the media?